Yeah, I am. I’m trying way too hard at this blogging business. I will not get into how many stops and starts at blogging I’ve encountered since I decided to venture into blogging in late 2010.
My first attempt was a bunch of writer-friendly posts that attracted a bunch of other writers. And I was definitely doing the most with a post every day. I had read that content is king and I took it to heart. I blogged so much, I wasn’t working on my craft. And my audience, though I loved their support, wasn’t whom I was looking to attract. However, I formed a really good friendship out of it (which is important to have someone who’s going through the “struggle” of writing, trying to bridge from unpublished to published…they get things that your non-writing friends don’t…)
So, I scaled back on the overblogging and tried to build a “platform”, become an “expert” in my genre so that I would be credible. Didn’t work. I ran out of ideas! So much for being an expert.
My next attempt was creating something that would reach out to the women just like me. The ones juggling, constantly balancing, numerous titles spilling out of their hats (mother, entrepreneur, wife, boss, employee, student, on and on and on) and how we manage to do it with style and grace and class. I don’t even think I made it past two posts.
After that, I tried something that was closer to me, the essence of who I am, my dreams, hopes all the while still somewhat of an attempt to uplift and motivate. My excuse (because that’s what it is!) for not getting too far was school. I am in a rigorous degree program, but still we do what is important. And for me, maintaining the blog was not priority. Lets call a spade a spade, shall we?
So, now what? Where am I right now as I continue to evolve and find my voice? Perhaps I have found my voice, but I’m not using it correctly. Please reference prior post, Stop being a punk bitch!
Why is that? Why am I so flipping scary when it comes to my writing? All these past attempts have been too much. Too much trying to do something that isn’t me. I write fiction. I make up stuff for pure entertainment because my mind is twisted, my imagination is very hyper/overactive. Perhaps in the midst of my writing fiction, there will shreds of motivation and knowledge-dropping, but if I continue to write what I think others want me to write as opposed to what I know is true to me to write, I’m going to be struggling, trying to do too much.
And oh yeah, NOT getting published.