#IWSG: A “nervousing” state of mind

InsecureWritersSupportGroup

Happy New Year everyone! It’s that time of the month: Insecure Writers Support Group! This is when this group of fabulous writers comes together in support of pushing past anxieties and insecurities in order to meet our goals. To check out who else is participating and read their blogs, click here. By the way, this group has a new website and Facebook page, please take a moment to check them out.

Okay, so I watch a little bit of reality TV. One of the shows I watch is Braxton Family Values. One of the Braxton sisters, Trina, introduced me to a word that I wondered actually existed: Nervousing.

So, I had to look it up. And the only place where Nervousing exists is the Urban Dictionary. (yeah, I know) Here is how they define the word:

When something is scary enough to make you nervous or give you the jitters, but not quite scary enough to be truly terrifying. Used in place of phrases such as ‘It made me nervous’.

Although the word is not in Webster’s or even dictionary.com, it pretty much described how I felt at around 11am on December 14, 2013 when I finished my formatting for my novella, Indiscretion, and realized that every step in the pre-publishing process was complete.

Allow me to use this word in a sentence:
It was very nervousing for me to be at the point of completion, especially after I’ve been working on various WIPs for so long and even had another novel that I had announced to be done only to retract the statement sometime later when I discovered some issues with it.  (Call it newbie mistakes…learning curves are real!)

For a moment, I stared at my computer screen, wondering…Am I really done? Is this really happening? Seriously, I’m finished? There’s nothing left to do?

Well, there was ONE more thing left to do, the most nervousing thing of all: Publish

And just what is so nervousing about publishing? Putting myself out there to the world with my dream, asking for acceptance and knowing there’s a chance of rejection or the effort crashing and burning. What if the reviews suck? Hell, what if I can’t get anybody to review it? What if I don’t sell anything? My book, my writing, is my (other) baby and what if this baby is ugly???

I was definitely jittery, but not terrified. And I just had to tell myself to stop being a punk already and upload the book. Because at the end of the day, regardless of if someone says the baby is not that cute or if I sell 10 copies or 1 million (now that would be amaze-balls), at least I dared to put myself out there. I pushed past the fear and refused to remain stuck. My desire to be a published author exceeded my insecurities. I wouldn’t be an old lady with a Dropbox full of WIPs and manuscripts be regretful that I didn’t publish at least one of them.

Yeah, this process is indeed nervousing, but whatever is going to happen is going to happen. And I can’t be driven by the “what ifs”. And to get over the fear and insecurity hump and live this dream is a success to me. And nothing about that is nervousing.

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5 comments

  1. All words have to be invented, and there’s definitely a need for a word that serves ‘nervousing’ ‘s purpose!

    The best advice I can offer is to get writing something else, try and jot down ideas, while you’re shipping your novel around, or looking at self-publishing options, or whatever else it is you plan to do. Rejections are a pain, as are long waits without an answer – remind yourself why you love writing!

    Like

  2. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Fear is good. Once we confront it we realize we can indeed pursue our dreams, even if we’re afraid. I’m so happy for you! Now you’ll be bitten with the bug. After this one, you’ll want to publish another, then another. Don’t believe me just watch, lol.

    Like

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