The Clean-Up Woman: Learning just how real the confidence struggle is

While searching for a graphic related to cleaning-up, I came across this...and couldn't stop laughing

While searching for a graphic related to cleaning-up, I came across this…and couldn’t stop laughing

My recent effort to reorganize my blog was eye-opening in a few ways for me. Last time, I gave a few pointers on being more consistent, and a part of that was the realization that I needed more structure than I had before. Or just structure, period. The very thing I didn’t want was the one thing I needed to build and grow my blog.

Perhaps the biggest “a-ha” moment happened as I pulled up posts from some of those “dead” blogs and decided to append them to this one. Not only was I struggling with a lack of structure, I was struggling with a confidence issue.

I allowed myself to get pulled in a lot of directions, placed way too much value on the opinions of others, and played the “what if” game so many times…let’s just say I had become the Ken Jennings of “What if?”

  • “What if people think I’m talking about me?”
  • “What if they don’t like the subject matter?”
  • “What if I post this and…”
  • “What if people question why I use a pen name?”
  • “What if my family/friends/_______ think that…”
  • “What if this post doesn’t get enough views?”
  • “What if they read the story and…”
  • “What if they don’t like it me?”

It’s a horrible game, peeps. It ultimately affected what I blogged, how I blogged, and of course what I wrote. Story ideas that had a lot of promise hit dead-ends, partly due to this crazy game of questions. Even though I would tell myself to just go with it, I’d stall anyway because…

confidence_silentSo, what can be done about it? Lately, I’ve grown to appreciate affirmations.



Negative thoughts, thoughts of doubt, thoughts of shame can become so deeply embedded that it becomes a huge obstacle to overcome. Even if you are talented/gifted/skilled, it’s easy to get defeated when that little doubter in your head says, “You don’t really want to write that, do you?” I came across a post from Michele Berger who discussed just how she won NaNoWriMo. One of her tips was the use of affirmations. Recently, I was given a desktop book full of “little reminders to dream big, laugh loud, and never stop believing in yourself”.


This saying is on the cover of the book of affirmations I received. PICTURE SOURCE:

I’ve found that these positive assertions are helpful and that the more I entertain what is positive, the less interested I am in playing “What if?”

Do you believe in affirmations? What have you found to be helpful to combat those self-defeating thoughts?



  1. I think the only thing that works for me when doubt seeps in is remembering all the good things people have ever said about my writing. Otherwise, I’d probably curl up in a corner and never write again! And something a fabulous writing professor once said to me: “How can it be wrong when you’re just making it up???” So don’t fret. As three wise writers once said: write, publish, repeat.

    Liked by 1 person

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