My recent effort to reorganize my blog was eye-opening in a few ways for me. Last time, I gave a few pointers on being more consistent, and a part of that was the realization that I needed more structure than I had before. Or just structure, period. The very thing I didn’t want was the one thing I needed to build and grow my blog.
Perhaps the biggest “a-ha” moment happened as I pulled up posts from some of those “dead” blogs and decided to append them to this one. Not only was I struggling with a lack of structure, I was struggling with a confidence issue.
I allowed myself to get pulled in a lot of directions, placed way too much value on the opinions of others, and played the “what if” game so many times…let’s just say I had become the Ken Jennings of “What if?”
- “What if people think I’m talking about me?”
- “What if they don’t like the subject matter?”
- “What if I post this and…”
- “What if people question why I use a pen name?”
- “What if my family/friends/_______ think that…”
- “What if this post doesn’t get enough views?”
- “What if they read the story and…”
- “What if they don’t like it me?”
It’s a horrible game, peeps. It ultimately affected what I blogged, how I blogged, and of course what I wrote. Story ideas that had a lot of promise hit dead-ends, partly due to this crazy game of questions. Even though I would tell myself to just go with it, I’d stall anyway because…
Negative thoughts, thoughts of doubt, thoughts of shame can become so deeply embedded that it becomes a huge obstacle to overcome. Even if you are talented/gifted/skilled, it’s easy to get defeated when that little doubter in your head says, “You don’t really want to write that, do you?” I came across a post from Michele Berger who discussed just how she won NaNoWriMo. One of her tips was the use of affirmations. Recently, I was given a desktop book full of “little reminders to dream big, laugh loud, and never stop believing in yourself”.
I’ve found that these positive assertions are helpful and that the more I entertain what is positive, the less interested I am in playing “What if?”
Do you believe in affirmations? What have you found to be helpful to combat those self-defeating thoughts?