The Clean-Up Woman: Learning just how real the confidence struggle is

While searching for a graphic related to cleaning-up, I came across this…and couldn’t stop laughing
SOURCE: leesanicolejones.tumblr.com

My recent effort to reorganize my blog was eye-opening in a few ways for me. Last time, I gave a few pointers on being more consistent, and a part of that was the realization that I needed more structure than I had before. Or just structure, period. The very thing I didn’t want was the one thing I needed to build and grow my blog.

Perhaps the biggest “a-ha” moment happened as I pulled up posts from some of those “dead” blogs and decided to append them to this one. Not only was I struggling with a lack of structure, I was struggling with a confidence issue.

I allowed myself to get pulled in a lot of directions, placed way too much value on the opinions of others, and played the “what if” game so many times…let’s just say I had become the Ken Jennings of “What if?”

• “What if people think I’m talking about me?”
• “What if they don’t like the subject matter?”
• “What if I post this and…”
• “What if people question why I use a pen name?”
• “What if my family/friends/_______ think that…”
• “What if this post doesn’t get enough views?”
• “What if they read the story and…”
• “What if they don’t like it me?”

It’s a horrible game, peeps. It ultimately affected what I blogged, how I blogged, and of course what I wrote. Story ideas that had a lot of promise hit dead-ends, partly due to this crazy game of questions. Even though I would tell myself to just go with it, I’d stall anyway because…

So, what can be done about it? Lately, I’ve grown to appreciate affirmations.

SOURCE: funnyjunk.com

Negative thoughts, thoughts of doubt, thoughts of shame can become so deeply embedded that it becomes a huge obstacle to overcome. Even if you are talented/gifted/skilled, it’s easy to get defeated when that little doubter in your head says, “You don’t really want to write that, do you?” I came across a post from Michele Berger who discussed just how she won NaNoWriMo. One of her tips was the use of affirmations. Recently, I was given a desktop book full of “little reminders to dream big, laugh loud, and never stop believing in yourself”.

This saying is on the cover of the book of affirmations I received. PICTURE SOURCE: http://leanerbythelake.com

I’ve found that these positive assertions are helpful and that the more I entertain what is positive, the less interested I am in playing “What if?”

SOURCE: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

Do you believe in affirmations? What have you found to be helpful to combat those self-defeating thoughts?

The Clean-up Woman: Reorganizing the blog for effectiveness

Source: 8tracks.com

It’s time to call in the clean up woman to declutter and reorganize this joint.

Maybe not that Clean-Up woman…(source:buycdnow.ca)

I have been blogging since 2010. 4 years, peeps! However, you couldn’t really tell I’ve been doing it for this long. Why, pray tell??? Because I’m guilty of being like the weather here in Florida: in the morning it’s muggy and cussin-hot, the afternoon it’s raining hard enough to have you humming “Wade in the Water” in the parking lot. The next morning: cold & windy. I call it trick weather – it’s inconsistent and can get you sick.

That’s been me when it comes to my blogging. According to WordPress, I’ve changed up (went in a new direction, did something new/different/exciting, etc.) my blog eight times…let me say this: Eight in this case is NOT great. It’s pretty flipping bad. It’s indicative of wishy-washiness. And when you’re trying to build a platform and establish a following, inconsistency can mess you up, no matter how talented you are.

Bloggers know that we want our blogs to be effective for whatever purpose it serves, be it for celebrity gossip or fashion or marketing the latest and greatest. In this case, my purpose is writing. What purpose does it serve to have a blog that’s all about carnival food (because let’s keep it real, deep fried Oreos are the bomb.com) but your topics are over the place? This week it’s deep-fried Oreos are the bomb, next week it’s about the latest pair of Louboutins? Unless that post is talking about how to survive walking around a carnival in a pair of Loubbies while eating those Oreos…

But, what happened to My Blog My Rules? I know, I know…(Source: theybf.com)

I’m prone to flitting — I’ll own up to that. And I’m not suggesting that there is no place or room in a blog for randomness. Or even that a blog can’t cover multiple topics. However, I had to really think about the purpose of this blog. My intent. And it’s simple, really: I write fiction. I want my audience to know that writing fiction is what I do around these parts. Therefore, the majority of the content should revolve around that. So, this time around, there’s no changing it up or going in a new direction: I’m returning to my roots.

(Disclaimer: There still may be the occasional post that is NWR – not writing related. But I’ll try to keep it to minimum…can’t say I didn’t warn you about my flitting)

So, let’s discuss: Ever felt a need to change things up? How did you do it? What is your strategy for staying within your intended purpose?